Master constructive confrontation techniques for effective conflict resolution in any situation.
Calming Conflicts
By Lain Ehmann
Whether you’re dealing with a litigious customer, an unresponsive employee, or a manufacturing department plagued with delays, when conflicts arise in the sales manager’s life, there’s only one way to handle them: confront the offender and blast them into submission, right?
Actually, confrontation is only one of several options for dealing with conflict, says Howard Guttman, principal of Guttman Development Strategies, Inc. in northern New Jersey and author of When Goliaths Clash: Managing Executive Conflict to Build a More Dynamic Organization (AMACOM, 2003).
Confrontation doesn’t necessarily mean bashing your opponent over the head until they give in, says Guttman. Instead, he identifies four main ways to deal with conflict, some of which are more effective than others:
Play the victim.
Do nothing, act powerless, and complain about your miserable lot in life.
Leave the scene.
Physically remove yourself from involvement in a conflict.
Change yourself.
Adjust your perception of the other party or the situation, or simply “let it go,” says Guttman.
Confront the issue.
Address the matter—not aggressively, as many salespeople might be inclined to do, but openly, candidly, and objectively, while maintaining effective communication with the other party.
On smaller issues, the most effective approach might be to let the conflict go or to remove yourself from the situation. On larger issues, confrontation might be the most appropriate option.
Here are Guttman’s tips for engaging in constructive confrontation:
Keep in mind that your goal is to enroll someone.
If you send an implicit message that all you care about is winning, don’t be surprised if the other party doesn’t go out of their way to accommodate your needs.
Welcome resistance.
We talk about overcoming resistance like it’s a bad thing,” says Guttman. “But it’s actually a good thing.” Resistance serves as a compass, offering insight into where the other person is coming from.
Think in terms of the organization or partnership, not just yourself.
“Many times, people think about their own patch, their own silo in an organization,” says Guttman. Instead, individuals should think horizontally and adopt a team approach, whether working with another department, an employee, or a customer.
Business needs must supersede functional needs.
Sometimes you must lose so the organization or the relationship can win. Focus on what’s most important in the long run.
Remember that one of a manager’s key tasks is to lead.
Leadership involves motivating people to follow you, not forcing them to comply. “If you’re always using your heavy hand to get your way, others will check out,” says Guttman.
For more information, visit www.guttmandev.com.